areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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