I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
