If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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