Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize