I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
