my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Randomize
