My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
