spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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