I have demons in me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
