i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
