The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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