Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
