Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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