guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
