I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize