Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
