I seem to have left my pride at pride
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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