I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
