just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
