So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
