Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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