Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
