He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
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I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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