i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
