i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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