she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
