How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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