just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she smelled like a LAN party
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
