I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
