Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she looked like the before picture.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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