He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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