plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
