I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
