Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
