Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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