she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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