I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
