I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
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Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The air taste purple.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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