In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
