Me. At least after what I've been through.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
