She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize