come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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