so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
