..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
They left me at home... I'm a liability
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
