Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
