so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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