Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
