your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
