JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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