please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
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I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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