I faked an abortion last night.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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