This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
