I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
