she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he thought i was a dude.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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