in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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