She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I wish I only lived at night.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
