it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
