She is in my trunk
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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