Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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