Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm just crazy horny about you
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
