its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
