Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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