is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
